our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
