just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize
