My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Randomize
