is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
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