I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
