They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Randomize
