So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Randomize
