...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize