im holly from the hills drunk
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Randomize
