Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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