Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
