awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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