If i could tip my vagina, i would.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
