I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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