Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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