This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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