You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
