were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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