those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
