if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
