found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize