Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
