I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
