your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
