you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
