she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
