I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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