she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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