is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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