no, he came in my armpit
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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