6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
not ubering you a puppy
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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