So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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