I just saw a hot homeless man
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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