Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
