Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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