She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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