i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
