She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
