is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
