margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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