Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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