i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
