i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
