My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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