carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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