oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
sex in a hospital.. check
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
