Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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