I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
