I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
