I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
