At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
