Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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