Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Randomize
