Christians are straight up FREAKS
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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