i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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