I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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