were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Randomize
