all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
