Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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