Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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