Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
