I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
